NO MEANS NO! Teach Our Boys!


No Means No!

How many times does society have to shout this phrase?

It’s as though we’ve never learned a thing.

‘No Means No’ isn’t new. If it’s not on a Facebook feed, it’ll appear on Twitter or the some mainstream news. Usually it’s in reference to males doing something sexually unacceptable. Lurking somewhere near to the discussion by is another word: ‘Rape’.

no means no

I said “No! Why don’t you listen?”

‘Rape’ and ‘no means no’ often activate high emotions. Taking advantage of anyone sexually is beyond abhorrent. It’s wrong on every level. Perpetrators should be banished from society. The only debate left is for how long.

And then there is reality.

Really, does ‘No mean no’?

Rape happens and ‘no’ has little meaning.

Sure, it’s conclusive and concise. All it takes is those two letters and a firm backing to deliver its message… but there’s a problem developing between the generations. ‘No’ isn’t liked.

It isn’t practised by parents enough to give it meaning. Children know that a ‘no’ can be made into a ‘yes’ with persistence.

It’s no wonder that young males keep pushing on. It’s also no wonder that victims practise what they’ve observed. A precedence was set.

Some children will never know what a true ‘no’ means. Parents are reluctant to use it because it’s damn hard work to live by. It’s easier to give in than hold ground to bolster an important life-lesson… over and over again.

Why doesn’t ‘No mean no’?

‘No’ barely exists in some families… and we snap when a persistent male won’t take no for an answer.

Blame focuses on an individual. The offender goes to jail but the offensive mind set remains. It is free to thrive without boundaries.

And girls learn the very same bad habits. They see their parents playing the role of victim, giving in time and time again. ‘No means no’ is an unconditional ‘yes’ in waiting.

No means no, or maybe, or maybe later, or…

‘No’ needs true value. The only way to do that is to charge it up with copious amounts of action and rehearse it over and over until it’s no longer painful.

A ‘no’ is good for the souls of all those standing around it. It’s good for the child, their future and their future lovers.

If we are to expect males (and females) to grow and understand that ‘no means no’, then we have to have parents who grow and understand it too… not just say it but practise it for their children… daily.

-Michael

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