How many babies must die for let one live?
Now that’s a eye-grabbing question for any endometriosis sufferer.
I’ve been following a blogger on another site: A revealing story about a young woman’s struggles living with chronic endometriosis
(and other illnesses) who is planning a family. Let’s call her Amy.
Amy’s blog began over fifteen years ago, long before she understood her condition, long-term relationships, boyfriends or potential life partners. In those days she believed in celibacy before marriage. A lot has changed since then.
The blog has changed its web-address and title several times. Each time a new struggle arises in her life, she shuts down the previous blog and then starts another one from scratch. It kind of covers her past and then allows her a fresh start without having to explain anything to anyone, least of all, herself.
Over those fifteen years, she’s revealed how she’s lost three babies. One to a previous guy who she thought was Mr Right and two more to the next one.
Despite being told by medical experts that her condition practically prohibits childbirth – she’s desperate to carry a child to full-term and continues to try. Her partner (soon to become her husband – let’s call him Adam) are now working on their next bub so they can get their family started before her fertility period is over.
Yes, they’re in their late-30’s and, hopefully, she’ll be a first-time mother before making the big four-o.
Two questions keep bothering me: Is it wilful abortion knowing the chances of a miscarriage is greater than not? When is it time for her to stop trying for children?
They’re callous questions but highly applicable ones in the circumstances.
It’s not like she doesn’t know the deal. She’s lost three and will probably lose three more. She’s aware of the high levels of daily medication she needs to take to suppress the pain caused by her condition. Her body ends the lives of babies… and she knows this.
A healthy womb for which the baby to grow inside of is imperative if that foetus is going to make it into the light. A broken one lessens the chances of that succeeding. Amy’s chances of being able to achieve a full-term baby is less than ten percent.
In real-terms, that’s nine little gravestones for one light-surviving air-breather.
Nice but here’s a question that bites hard.
Once we become aware of the stats, the truth of the medical condition at hand and validate it with evidence, would it be right to state that if we proceed further, wouldn’t we be baby killers?
Amy and Adam know full-well that it’s a nine-to-one shot each time she falls pregnant. Three pieces of evidence, expert medical advice and a formal diagnosis isn’t enough to stop them.
Another fact: If Amy gives birth, the endometriosis encoded into her DNA will be passed on to her child. She knows this. Her back-posts verify it. She’s no dummy.
And yet she pushes on.
Knowledge is a great thing but knowing things can be a curse.