Mental Asylum: Institute of the Year Again!

Go directly to your nearest Chic Chic Mental Asylum and check yourself in for a nice break from reality today!

My Mental Asylum

Head injury getting you down? Brain fever giving you nightmares? Got masturbation issues? Can’t sleep or even stay awake? Come to Chic Chic Mental Asylum today and be assessed for free. Let our doctors probe you without obligation. Why not try on our new range of straight jackets and get a Committed For Life tee shirt and cap?

Take in some fun electrotherapy while watching ninjas on our front lawn.

Phone Now! First 100 callers will get a free monogrammed straight jacket and your choice of room with corrosion-free custom cuffs at the top and bottom of their bed!

That’s right, your own room and stainless cuffs!


Unable to check yourself in? Don’t worry, parents and spouses can sign you in. No doctor’s recommendation necessary! No reason necessary!

Hurry now for the Chic Chic Mental Asylum Sale of the Century!

No surprise anal probing

This month we have a special on wives and girlfriends. We call it the Husband Holiday Offer! Husbands: Got a superstitious wife or one with an undiagnosable female disease of the mind, body or soul ? Maybe she’s just a nuisance and won’t shut the hell up. Send her our way and you can get the break you deserve. Extra-long stays welcome!

Mental_Hospital_Conditions_and_Treatments_for_Patients_History_in_the_1950s_1953_Other committable reasons to send your favourite chick for a Chic Chic break:

  • Jealousy
  • Feebleness of Intellect
  • Dropsy
  • Self Abuse
  • Dissipation of Nerves
  • Seduction and Disappointment.
  • Novel Reading

Novel reading? You heard right. Nose-in-book Syndrome can be a real problem. It just so happens that this syndrome is this month’s Syndrome of The Month! It qualifies her to get her first night free and an upgrade* to visit our Zap & Sizzle Spa. Plug her in and watch her frown turn upside down. Now that’s we call a novel offer.

‘Electricity supplied by renewable and sustainable sources.’

serbianWe haven’t forgotten the ladies either. At Chic Chic you can commit your husband for:

  • Greediness
  • Deranged Masturbation
  • Egotism
  • Tobacco and Masturbation
  • Masturbation for 30+ years
  • … and much much more masturbation-related things!

Can’t find any reason to commit? No problems! Send us your symptoms and we’ll make one up for you. Everyone is welcome at Chic Chic!

‘Clean Surgical Instruments Used Occasionally.’

So book now and give your loved one the experience of a lifetime. And don’t you deserve a break today? Everyone needs a holiday. Tell us your dream holiday and you will go in for the draw to win a lifetime supply of valium.

‘At Chic Chic Mental Asylum, we leave the rubber gloves off because we care.’

storymaker-slideshow-history-mental-asylum9-514x418What about the kids? Book in the next five minutes and we’ll take your Godless children in for free. We’ve a Priest waiting to turn your child around right now!!!

Member of UMAIN (United Mental Asylums Institute National)

 The Novel ¦The Author ¦ Order 

Michael Forman’s books on Goodreads ratings: 4 (avg rating 4.50)


Michael has put together a strong, heart beating novel, one which the readers of ‘psychotic thrillers’ will enjoy  – for the faint hearted, leave it alone! – Mike M. Roleystone

Subscribe to see more of Michael’s writings here.


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